Morris

" you're gonna be somebody.
you're going to school.
dont bullshit, man. dont bullshit. "

" huh!? "

" you're lucky to be going to school. dont bullshit. "

I was tired of driving to and fro from city to city settling all these screw ups at TSTC....peeved at the lack of how all this has turned out.

This guy was taking off his bike off a rack. He was a black skinny kinda lanky guy. He was older than me, but not alot. Seemed late 20's or 30.

Today was weird.



I woke up around 6am ready for my first day of skewl. Still a little iffy on some stuff. I checked my schedule online to learn that all my classes had been dropped. Sort of a colossal moment the more it started to sink in. Thoughts of never getting to got back to skewl and struggling to pay back loans on a low income job that would slowly but surely grow into an acceptable lifestyle for me.
Thoughts of getting in my car and driving off to San Antonio kicked in. At least I'd get a job with friends if I was gonna inherit this life, I was gonna make the first move.

All this cz I slacked off and thought the lack of adequate class dynamics at UTB weren't worth my effort. I had now fallen too low on my GPA to get any aid in going back to skewl, money-wise.

...it seemed to be so.

The sudden, but slight depression grew a thin crusty layer at the surface. A little layer that had the chemical properties of anger and resentment. Towards the system, I guess. So I got up and took off to Harlingen, expecting every door of chance to be shut. I got there and started to dilly-dally with lines and people. Sending me back and forth from place to place but not answering my questions. At this point the crust had moved around a little and I was accepting my fate once again. Answers began to come as I carried out more and more tasks.

There was seriously alot of stuff I spared but I trusted none of it until I came out on top. Usually my way of thinking.

=I got my classes back.
=Cleared that I was from another country. [I know]
=Financial aid kicked in [after the lie that I didnt even apply for it]
=Made a payment on the white meat.
=Parking Permit.

Now I was still a little pensive that financial aid had not covered it all, I was walking back into the building with my license plate number to get my parking sticker.

Thats when the conversation at the top commenced. At first I treated it as on of that freak accidents where a stranger talks to you outta nowhere.
I got my permit.

got in my car.

cursed a bit about tstc.

then this guys comment sailed into my head.
The green depth of sudden slight depression shifted within itself and grew a glow of deep orange, if you will. Then purple.
The orange being a sense of privilege and how right he was. I was lucky and should feel it so. Our parents try to show us this and its one of those annoying things that we will even tell younger people as we learn and grow older. I get to be somebody, meaning what I choose. Not getting stuck with something. I've thrown this chance to the wind before, but I can bullshit this time.

Then purple, in shame of how I wanted more and more and more at all times when I had crapped out on so much. Thinking I was entitled to a buffet of gratitude for no effort.

He was right. He was absolutely right. I cant even remember his face, but he said it as it was.

I'm glad to be going to skewl and that I have another chance to get back on track and do something I actually like for the rest of my life. I thank my parents too.

I'm gonna pick a really good retirement home for 'em.



I jest.....I jest~